Hazrat Moulana Dawood Seedat Saheb Madrasah Isha'atul Haq · Albert Falls Albert Falls, KwaZulu-Natal
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مدرسة إشاعة الحق
Madrasah Isha'atul Haq · Albert Falls Albert Falls, KwaZulu-Natal · 2026
Lessons From the Life of Hz Ml Maseehullah R.A | Hazrat Moulana Dawood Seedat Saheb
24 Ramadaan 1440
Life of Hz. Ml. Maseehullah Khan Saheb (RA)
Summary Main Topic
The lecture emphasizes the importance of adopting true Taqwa (piety and spiritual caution) by abstaining from doubtful matters, as well as actively cultivating noble character (Akhlaq) and gentle speech, especially within the home and domestic life.
Key Lessons
Taqwa Beyond Mere Fatwa : While basic legal permissibility (fatwa) provides minimum compliance to save faith, true Taqwa requires adopting caution and avoiding grey or doubtful areas.Definition of Taqwa : Hazrat Umar (RA) learned that Taqwa is akin to walking through a narrow mountain pass filled with loose rocks and thorns—carefully pulling one's garments close to avoid being hooked or slipping.True Test of Akhlaq : Showing good manners outside or in front of scholars is easy; the real test of a person's character is how they behave at home with their spouse and children.Patience in Marriage : Attempting to forcefully "straighten out" one's wife causes breakage (divorce). Marital harmony requires Sabr, tolerance, and overlooking shortcomings.Humility and Tolerance (Hilm) : Genuine tolerance arises when a person considers themselves entitled to nothing. Entitlement breeds agitation, whereas humility brings gratitude for every kindness received.Sincerity in Good Conduct : Good character should be displayed purely for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala, rather than for selfish motives or superficial politeness.
Quranic/Hadith References
Hadith of Bukhari : Halal and Haram are clearly defined, but between them are ambiguous matters; avoiding doubtful matters safeguards one's deen and honor.Surah Al-Fath (48:29) : Describes the believers as "Ruhama'u baynahum" (merciful and compassionate among themselves).Hadith on Treating Wives : Nabi Sallallahu alayhi wasallam warned that trying to forcibly bend a curved rib will break it, and breaking her means divorcing her.Hadith on Signs of Qiyamah : Reference to "Antadidal amatu rabbata" (that a slave mother gives birth to her master), illustrating extreme disrespect from children toward parents.Hadith on Intentions : "Innamal a'malu bin-niyyat" (Actions are judged by intentions).
Practical Advice
Exercise caution when encountering doubtful items (such as ambiguous food choices) to guard heart and faith.
Transcript Machine-generated, so it will contain mistakes — the audio is the reference. Tap any line to play from that moment.
0:04 Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. 0:15 We were discussing the third advice that Huzoor had given in the last few days of his earthly existence. 0:27 And that was abstain to the best of one's ability from haram and doubtful matters. 0:33 So we gave you examples yesterday with regards to this. 0:40 As mentioned in the hadith of Bukhari Sharif, halal and haram are clearly defined. 0:47 Things that are halal, that is 100% it is clear. 0:53 Fish is halal. 0:56 There is no doubts. 0:57 Nothing. 0:58 Right? 0:59 On the other side, carrion. 1:02 Hmm? 1:05 Pig. 1:06 These things are haram. 1:07 There's no doubt. 1:10 In between the two, you get the doubtful things. 1:15 In between the two, you get the doubtful things. 1:18 For example, we discussed prawns yesterday. 1:21 Some are saying halal. 1:22 Some are saying not halal. 1:24 So, the halal, you know you can do it. 1:27 The haram, we know must abstain. 1:29 Now, this in between these grey areas. 1:34 These are the things you must abstain from. 1:37 If you want to develop taqwa, you want to be on the safe side, then abstain from these doubtful things. 1:44 Doubtful things should be avoided. 1:47 This is the true and real taqwa. 1:51 See, there are many people that are not really exposed to deen. 1:57 They are not really exposed to deen. 2:01 Now our youngsters, they went 2:03 Different, different places to read Taraweeh. 2:06 One place they went to read Taraweeh. 2:08 The youngsters, they give a report back. 2:10 So they say, they invite them for a meal, right? 2:18 So they put some meat there and they put some fish there. 2:22 And then they're telling them, say, you know what, the meat is not halal. 2:29 Right? 2:30 The fish now is halal. 2:33 So, if you are also, you are not, you know, worried about halal, haram, then you can eat the meat also. 2:40 But we are doing our duty by telling you all. 2:42 Like, we eat it. 2:43 We got no problem with it. 2:45 Right? 2:45 But this meat is haram. 2:47 The fish is halal. 2:48 So, if you are conscious about halal, haram, then you only eat the fish. 2:51 Don't eat this meat. 2:54 But they eating the thing in front of them. 2:58 So, they haven't been exposed to dini, taalim, 3:01 That importance of these things is not in them. 3:05 For so many years they got no exposure to Deen. 3:10 So now that is their situation. 3:13 Now in their situation if they make Amal on Fatwa. 3:18 If they make Amal on Fatwa it's understandable. 3:21 Just to save their Iman. 3:25 It's permissible. 3:26 It's fine. 3:27 You can carry on. 3:28 But those of us who are exposed to Deen, Allah Ta'ala is, you know, put us in a place where we can practice our Deen. 3:38 Maybe we have been out in Jamaat. 3:41 We know what it is. 3:42 Iman. 3:44 Yaqeen. 3:44 We're talking about maybe we are part of Samkhan Ka. 3:48 We have got a Sheikh. 3:50 Right? 3:51 We can take guidance. 3:52 We have got, we've been to Madrasa. 3:54 Sometime we've been, whatever it is. 3:57 Now, if we are also just going to remain on fatwa, how are we going to develop taqwa? 4:05 How is the taqwa going to be developed? 4:09 Taqwa means you are on the safe side. 4:14 You are treading on the side of caution. 4:19 Hazrat Umar radiallahu ta'ala asked one sahabi, 4:25 He said, explain to me taqwa. 4:29 Explain to me taqwa. 4:31 So the sahabi said to him, have you ever walked through a narrow pass, you know, a pathway in a mountain pass, some place that was narrow, and there's lot of loose rocks there, and there's some tawny trees either side, etc., 4:51 Did you walk through a place like that? 4:54 I said yes. 4:55 Experienced it. 4:56 So how did you walk when you went there? 5:00 You hold your garment very close to you. 5:02 You don't want to get caught in the thorny trees. 5:06 And then you watch also where you going. 5:08 You mustn't get poked. 5:09 Where you putting your foot. 5:11 You mustn't step on a loose rock. 5:13 Slip. 5:13 Fall. 5:14 Get hurt. 5:16 So I said this is Taqwa. 5:19 This is Taqwa. 5:21 That you go through life like this. 5:22 That you are cautious. 5:24 Right? 5:24 Rather be safe than be sorry. 5:28 So when there's a doubt, rather abstain. 5:32 Give it out. 5:33 Don't go anywhere near. 5:35 Why must I get involved in something that is doubtful? 5:40 This is true and real Taqwa. 5:46 Entrench good akhlaq in one's life. 5:50 Entrench good akhlaq in one's life with zeal and fervor. 5:58 We talk about the good akhlaq. 6:00 But are we entrenching this good akhlaq with zeal and fervor? 6:05 You know what? 6:06 Now I'm going to make this the maqsat of my life. 6:12 That I must have good akhlaq. 6:14 I must have good character. 6:16 Like how we got a driving force to earn our rozi. 6:21 Why we don't have that driving force in us that, no, I'm going to put my akhlaq right. 6:27 Definitely going to put it right. 6:30 So have that in us. 6:34 Eradicate evil akhlaq with vehemence and with nafrat. 6:39 Have a dislike for it. 6:41 Evil akhlaq, bad akhlaq, have a dislike for it and eradicate it. 6:45 Get rid of it. 6:48 The result of this would be the acquisition of good speech and good character. 6:53 Now when we will talk, we will talk nicely. 6:55 Now when we act, we will act in a manner that won't cause anybody taklif. 7:01 Our Azimu'l-Isbata. 7:03 Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. 7:08 Allah Ta'ala you know had blessed him that you know when he came to 7:15 Examples and all these things. 7:17 So beautifully he used to put things across. 7:20 So he mentioned, he said, see when we came into the dunya, we came in crying. 7:26 Everybody around us was smiling. 7:29 Don't let it be that when we're leaving the dunya also we're crying and everybody is smiling. 7:34 When we're leaving the dunya, it must be the other way around that we are smiling, everybody is crying. 7:40 What he meant is that if a person... 7:44 He lived a life of bad akhlaq. 7:46 Of guna. 7:47 Of evil. 7:48 So when he's leaving from the dunya, he'll be crying. 7:50 He doesn't want to go there because only azam, torment, punishment, jahannam is waiting for him. 7:56 So he's crying. 7:58 And the people around him, they are happy. 8:00 They are happy. 8:03 Sometime with the bad akhlaq. 8:05 Bad character. 8:07 Person got bad akhlaq. 8:10 Even their mother is making bad dua for them. 8:13 Imagine for a mother, a mother who makes dua, you know what? 8:18 Either this child must die or I must die. 8:22 You know for a mother, a mother, if they tolerate anything of a child, but for a child now to drive the mother to that point, that the mother is saying, no, either this child must die or I must die. 8:40 I can't take this child anymore. 8:43 So how much bad akhlaq? 8:45 How much bad character? 8:48 So now, when a person has got such bad akhlaq, he's troubling his wife, he's troubling his parents, he's troubling his neighbours, he's troubling his staff. 8:58 Now when that person pass away, top top they all shed some tears. 9:02 But the wife ready, if somebody could accelerate those tears, maybe it's tears of joy. 9:08 Chalo gyo. 9:10 Bala gyo. 9:11 Finish it. 9:12 This fellow is gone. 9:13 Now maybe I can have some peace in my life. 9:16 Sometime, you know, ladies too, they complain. 9:20 Now we are not listening to no ladies' complaints. 9:22 They must complain to ladies. 9:25 Ladies complain to Abha. 9:27 But before, sometime, you know, they complain. 9:33 Husband is so strict. 9:36 Like a sergeant in the house. 9:38 His tea must be certain temperature. 9:42 So now, for example, if he is getting ready now, she must time it. 9:46 I mean, tea, the water have to boil. 9:48 What you gonna do? 9:49 It's gonna be boiling. 9:51 So she must time it. 9:53 That she must boil it. 9:54 And it must be poured and ready there. 9:58 So that when he come, it's drinkable. 10:01 When he come, it mustn't be hot now. 10:04 If it's hot, then he is getting hot. 10:06 He is shouting and taking off. 10:10 Wife must take out the clothes. 10:11 Must take out the shoes. 10:12 Must have this. 10:14 What can, what we think we some badshah or something? 10:18 Some type of a king or something we are that now this wife who Allah Ta'ala gave us now she became like our servant now. 10:28 Some men, some, this is all bad akhlaq. 10:32 Bad akhlaq. 10:32 You're so fussy and choosy and you must be like this and have to be like that and like that. 10:39 This is terrible akhlaq. 10:42 We must be how Allah Ta'ala describes the believers in the Quran Sharif. 10:50 Ruhama'u baynahum. 10:53 They are merciful and soft with one another. 10:56 This is with the general people. 10:59 Now with the lady who has given her life to you. 11:05 Azad Ma'ana Magda Sahib. 11:07 Always he mentions this thing. 11:09 That she sacrificed everything for you. 11:13 She left her parents home, her friends, her siblings, her comforts, everything she sacrificed to come and live with you. 11:24 Right? 11:25 And sometime she would even go against her own father for you. 11:35 Sometime the wife 11:37 She would even go against her own father for the sake of her husband. 11:42 But then we treat them like this. 11:45 Yes, everybody has their faults. 11:47 Everybody will make their mistake. 11:51 Now why this akhlaq in the house is always emphasized? 11:56 It's because that is the most difficult place to show the good akhlaq. 12:01 To show good akhlaq outside, that's very easy. 12:05 To show good akhlaq outside is very easy. 12:09 But to show good akhlaq in the house, this is the real test. 12:14 So if a person, he can pass that test, then it is like you are asking a matriculant to write grade 2 paper. 12:23 There is a walk in the park, you don't even have to study for that one. 12:28 So if a person can have good akhlaq in the house, he can have sabr and tolerance in the house, 12:33 On the mistakes and the shortcomings of his wife, etc. 12:38 Then outside, he'll have exemplary akhlaq. 12:43 But if a person, he can show everybody his teeth and smile and how good he is and sit in front of his Sheikh with his head down and everything. 12:53 But in the house, he becomes a monster. 12:57 Sometimes you can't believe it when the family of that person tells you what languages he uses. 13:05 You can't believe because when you meet the person, this person, he looked like a busurk. 13:13 When you meet the person in the masjid, the way he sits, so much of humility and he's straightening the sheikh's shoes and everything he's doing. 13:23 Bringing water, making khidmat. 13:26 Peking khidmat of other people too. 13:29 Anybody got any difficulty, he is there in the front line. 13:33 So when the children or they tell you or the wife has to bring it to the attention that this is his language at home. 13:41 Now you get so confused. 13:43 He is the same person. 13:48 One brother phoned me. 13:49 I don't want to say when and from where or anything. 13:52 But just for us to take Ibrat. 13:55 He phoned me. 13:56 He said, you know, Morana, I was married first time. 14:01 The marriage never work out. 14:03 Now, I got married second time. 14:06 This one too, doesn't seem like it's working out. 14:09 Because, you know, Morana, I'm trying to straighten them out. 14:14 Right? 14:14 But they just don't listen. 14:16 You see, he's talking. 14:17 You see, the first one is same story. 14:20 Second one also now same story. 14:22 They just don't listen. 14:23 I told him, by 14:27 This is the problem. 14:29 Right? 14:30 That you're trying to straighten them out. 14:33 You're not supposed to do that. 14:35 You're supposed to make sabr. 14:37 You're not supposed to straighten anybody out. 14:40 Right? 14:41 The words he used, and look at the wisdom of our beloved Nabi sallallahu alayhi wasallam. 14:46 Nabi sallallahu alayhi wasallam used the exact same words. 14:51 That if you go to straighten her out, you will break her. 14:55 And breaking her means you will divorce her. 14:58 Same words Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam used. 15:00 And he is saying, no, I am trying to make them straight. 15:02 I am trying to straighten them out. 15:03 They don't want to listen. 15:04 You tell them so many times, but they just don't want to get straight. 15:10 There is no straightening out. 15:11 There is sabr. 15:13 Sabr. 15:14 You have to make sabr. 15:17 So, 15:20 Good akhlaq. 15:21 Good speech. 15:22 Good akhlaq. 15:23 Hazrat Rahmatullahi is to give this beautiful example. 15:29 You may have heard it also but we make muzakara of it. 15:32 This is what Islam is about. 15:33 Same things we would hear over and over, over and over. 15:37 Hearing it is not what is important. 15:39 Implementing it is what is important. 15:41 We can hear it a hundred times but ask ourselves have I implemented it? 15:46 Asr used to say, a person goes to the hospital, they put him on a drip. 15:49 Same drip they're giving him for three days. 15:52 Drop, drop. 15:52 Same drop is going inside. 15:56 If the patient says, I'm tired of this color drip. 15:59 Some other color. 16:00 Some other variety. 16:02 So what they're telling, you need this drip. 16:05 So you just take this. 16:06 Same drip. 16:07 Carry on putting. 16:10 So Asr used to give this example. 16:12 You learn from here that good speech 16:16 That if a person goes home and he tells his mother, say, Mummy, you know, I'm feeling hungry. 16:29 I'm feeling hungry. 16:31 Can I have some milk, please? 16:33 He speaks like that to his mother. 16:37 Can I have some milk? 16:38 Today's children must hear how they speak to their parents. 16:41 When you hear how they speak to their parents, you think of the sign of Qiyamah. 16:46 Antadidal amatu rabbata. 16:49 That a lady should give birth to her master. 16:52 One, two children. 16:53 I tell them, you think your parents are your slaves? 16:58 Person's parents is overseas. 17:00 Parent is overseas. 17:02 Phones the child nicely. 17:04 Bachu. 17:04 How are you? 17:05 This, that. 17:06 You bought that thing for me. 17:08 Hope you bought enough. 17:13 This tariqa to talk. 17:17 It's a way to talk. 17:20 So, the, the, what the, Hazrat Rahmanullah used to say, that you go home, you tell your mother, say, Mummy, Ammijan, Mummy, Ma, whatever, you go home, you make salaam, you look at your mother, you smile, give her one kiss on the forehead, Mummy, you are a very hungry man. 17:40 Not Ramadan time, but the day time. 17:43 Out of Ramadan example. 17:45 Mummy, 17:46 Very hungry today. 17:47 You got some milk. 17:49 So chances are, your mother won't just give you milk. 17:55 She will make you one milkshake. 17:56 She will make you one sandwich. 17:59 But you come, come, eat. 18:01 She will make you something else. 18:03 You will melt her heart. 18:05 Right? 18:06 On the other hand now, if a person walks in the house, his mother is there, no salaam, kalaam, nothing. 18:12 You are going to walk in the house. 18:14 Hey my father's wife, give one glass milk. 18:20 Now what he'll get? 18:22 Forget milk, forget sour milk. 18:24 He may get one slap. 18:26 Why? 18:27 He didn't say anything wrong. 18:29 His mother is his father's wife. 18:31 But is that a tariqah to talk? 18:34 Is that a way to talk? 18:36 It's not a way to talk. 18:41 So when we talk, we must be able to extract the good out of somebody. 18:47 When we talk, even our staff, if you talk in a nice way, you talk in a nice way, even the staff will not go out of their way. 18:57 Because you spoke nicely. 19:00 You spoke nicely. 19:01 You see this thing in small, small children also. 19:05 Small child. 19:06 You see a small child. 19:09 If you tell a child, 19:11 Say, Bacho, only you know how to bring water for me, man. 19:16 Small child. 19:17 Only you know how to bring water for me. 19:19 No. 19:21 Papa is feeling thirsty, man. 19:23 Bring one glass water. 19:24 Now see how the child will run to bring the water. 19:28 With so much enthusiasm and all that the child will come with the water. 19:31 Right? 19:33 But now you tell the child, say, bring one glass water quickly. 19:39 Now, a child may do it, but begrudgingly. 19:45 Begrudgingly. 19:46 And the day the child can get an excuse not to do it, the child won't do it. 19:50 But if you talk with some mitas, talk with some mitas. 19:54 I remember Hafiz Abdul Qadir Hansasa. 19:59 I was very young at the time. 20:02 He used to have majlis. 20:07 I remember one day he mentioned 20:09 At that time, you couldn't really understand what he was saying. 20:11 Later on, then now, you know, you understand. 20:16 So he was explaining. 20:17 Hafizah reads from the Malfoozat of Hazrat Jirahmatullahi. 20:22 He explained a little bit in Urdu, in English. 20:26 So he was explaining. 20:27 He said, you know, if you treat her nicely, you treat her nicely, she will become like your bandi in the house. 20:40 She will eat out of your hand. 20:43 You treat her nicely. 20:46 You talk nicely. 20:47 You treat her nicely. 20:48 She will do anything for you after that. 20:52 But a person is harsh and hard. 20:54 Right? 20:56 We may get some immediate results because they fear our evil. 21:01 So while we are there we may get some immediate results out of something but it doesn't have any long lasting muhabbat or respect or anything of the sort. 21:11 So, good akhlaq and to speak nicely. 21:13 You have good speech and good akhlaq. 21:17 The fourth thing, Huzoor mentioned that the definition of good speech, when you're talking about good speech, what is the definition of good speech? 21:26 Is to speak politely, courteously, and in a soft tone. 21:35 Speak with politeness, speak with courtesy, and speak in a soft tone. 21:40 Now, you will get 21:42 Men of different tabiats. 21:45 Right? 21:46 You get some men. 21:48 They. 21:49 Military style. 21:50 You know. 21:51 Hard. 21:52 Right? 21:52 Talk hard also. 21:53 You know. 21:54 Everything. 21:55 Instructions. 21:57 Right? 21:58 Then you get other men. 22:00 They not like that. 22:02 They wise cracks. 22:04 They not like that. 22:04 They don't talk hard and everything. 22:06 But they sarcastic. 22:08 You know. 22:09 Sarcasm. 22:09 Right? 22:12 I mean the wife is not stupid. 22:15 The wife is not stupid. 22:17 Right? 22:17 But they speak with sarcasm. 22:21 That too is badakhlaq. 22:23 Now if the wife... What I said? 22:27 I didn't say it. 22:27 I'm talking so nicely to you. 22:30 I'm talking so nicely to you. 22:31 Where's the problem? 22:33 You're making a problem when there's no problem. 22:37 But inside he knows he was being sarcastic. 22:40 He was using sarcasm. 22:41 He was making silly remarks. 22:44 And then if you get one wife who knows how to give dandashikan jawab, then you're in a big problem. 22:50 Like that one fellow was travelling with his wife in a countryside. 22:54 So they went past now some donkeys and one, two monkeys in the trees and everything. 23:01 So he told his wife, I see all your connections, you know. 23:06 All your connections. 23:08 She too knew how to give dandashik and jawab. 23:11 So she told him, Haan, my in-laws. 23:16 She knew how to give jawab to him. 23:19 So now if you have that kind wife, then it's disaster. 23:23 Because the man now, now he pressed the wrong buttons. 23:27 Then the raw will come out now. 23:31 Then the fighting will happen. 23:33 Abuse takes place. 23:36 Nine out of ten, the woman 23:38 They back down. 23:39 They keep quiet. 23:41 And they take the zulm. 23:43 That too is very dangerous. 23:46 How are you going to answer to Allah Ta'ala? 23:52 The definition of good akhlaq is to possess the quality of tolerance. 23:59 You know, they say a person's taqya kalam. 24:04 Taqya kalam means a person's 24:07 All the time, you know, he talks that one thing. 24:11 If there was a taqya kanam for Hazratji Rahmatullah Ali, it was this subject. 24:17 Hilm. 24:18 Tolerance. 24:21 Have tolerance. 24:22 Forbearance. 24:24 Because if a person is tolerant, all the masalah is solved. 24:31 If he can take, you know, he is tolerant. 24:33 Then all the masla is so. 24:34 He won't have no argument with nobody, no fight with nobody, nothing. 24:39 If he reprimands his children, his students, whatever, it is for their tarbiyat, for their akhlaq. 24:47 He knows when to stop. 24:49 Then just go overboard. 24:51 Right? 24:53 But generally, he's got hirm. 24:56 Somebody give him some taklif, he doesn't take offense. 25:01 Right? 25:02 And this helm, this tolerance can only come when a person considers himself nobody. 25:10 Soon as we consider ourselves to be somebody, we've got some ego in us, then it's hard to be tolerant. 25:19 When a person considers himself to be nobody, then he feels I'm not entitled to anything. 25:25 I was explaining to our students that 25:32 Students. 25:33 Friends. 25:36 That a person comes home. 25:41 Person comes home and now he's in a hurry or whatever. 25:46 The food is not ready. 25:50 Now he starts getting uptight. 25:53 What's happening now? 25:54 But you know I come this time. 25:56 All these things. 25:57 You know I'm in a hurry now. 26:01 Program is after Isha. 26:03 To go for my gaj or to go for majdis or whatever it may be. 26:08 Person is upset and is uptight. 26:11 Why does he feel upset and uptight? 26:14 Because he feels he is deserving of that meal. 26:18 He feels he is deserving of that meal. 26:21 But if he has attitude that I am deserving of nothing. 26:24 Now he comes home. 26:27 The meal is ready. 26:29 Meal has been cooked. 26:31 Love for his wife will come in his heart. 26:34 You cooked for me. 26:36 You cooked for me. 26:37 Alhamdulillah. 26:37 And you cooked. 26:38 You actually made salad also. 26:41 You cooked and you made salad too. 26:44 Dua's he'll give her. 26:46 And he will eat. 26:48 If there is some mistake in the food also, he'll overlook it. 26:51 Because this was her ihsan. 26:53 Allah Ta'ala's ni'mat on me that Allah Ta'ala put in the heart that she prepared something for me and it got done on time. 26:59 Everything. 26:59 It has been served. 27:01 I can eat. 27:03 If he came in the house and the food is not ready, maybe Allah didn't want me to eat now. 27:10 That food is not written in my takdir now. 27:13 Hopefully it will be written after I come back from program. 27:17 But then maybe it will be written that time. 27:20 Then I'll eat that time. 27:22 So when he comes and his wife is under pressure now because 27:27 She knows now. 27:28 She needs to have the food ready. 27:30 And now the food is not ready. 27:31 Right? 27:33 Now he will pacify her. 27:36 Ya Begum Sahiba. 27:37 Ya fikar mat karo. 27:38 Don't worry. 27:40 It's not ready. 27:41 It's not ready. 27:42 No problem. 27:44 Right? 27:44 Unless I want fruit or something and I'll go away. 27:47 After program, aaram se. 27:49 We'll sit and we'll eat. 27:51 If you hungry, you eat it. 27:53 When the food is ready, when I come, I'll eat it. 27:56 He'll even tell her, don't even worry about staying up if I'm late. 28:01 I'll dish it out. 28:01 I'll warm it and I'll eat it. 28:03 Don't worry. 28:05 Because he doesn't consider himself entitled to anything. 28:11 The same on the wife's side. 28:14 Some women, they are so demanding. 28:18 But Ismail is taking his family and going for Umrah. 28:21 You won't even work. 28:22 When are you going to take us and go? 28:24 No. 28:25 This year we haven't been. 28:26 They feel like it's their right. 28:29 That they have to go. 28:31 Husband must work and just provide. 28:33 You know, Eid is coming. 28:35 I need to buy gifts for the whole family and all that. 28:37 You didn't give me extra money I need now to buy gifts. 28:42 So if the wife also, if she lives like that, then I'm not entitled to anything. 28:47 Now if the husband gives her something, now she'll make shukr. 28:51 She'll be grateful. 28:52 She'll make duas for him. 28:55 But where she is now, you know, I'm entitled to everything. 28:58 One person came to see me, elderly person. 29:05 Now he's old, a bit sickly, can't really work, how he used to work, etc. 29:10 He's telling me, you know, in my good days, when I was healthy, I was working, business was good, money was coming in. 29:19 What I never give them? 29:20 I give them everything. 29:23 Everything. 29:24 I'm a simple man. 29:25 I don't have much. 29:26 I don't have any hobbies. 29:28 I got no buri adat. 29:30 Right? 29:31 I drive simple vehicle. 29:33 And I'm simple in my ways. 29:35 My dressing is simple. 29:36 Whatever money I was making, whatever I was spending on them. 29:40 Overseas trips. 29:41 This, that, whatever. 29:42 They enjoyed. 29:44 Now today when I'm old and I can't do these things. 29:46 Now they're fighting with me. 29:51 Because now that woman, she got this thing in her head that she's supposed to be entitled. 29:55 Every year we were going overseas. 29:57 Now why are we not going? 30:00 Every year you were buying this and doing that. 30:02 Now why so long? 30:03 You didn't buy for me one piece of jewellery too. 30:06 Now she feels she's entitled to all of that. 30:09 She also, her gaze is on Allah Ta'ala. 30:12 That what Allah wants me to get, I'll get. 30:14 And she's got kanaat. 30:15 She's got contentment. 30:19 There's ants there. 30:21 Problem there. 30:22 Burning fire. 30:24 Nothing. 30:29 So, if she also feels that she is not entitled to anything, he also feels he is not entitled to anything, whatever little they will do for one another, for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala, it will engender love. 30:44 Muhabbat. 30:45 Good feelings. 30:46 Duas for one another. 30:47 They will appreciate one another. 30:51 You see that humility has to be there. 30:53 That fanayat has to be there. 30:55 Then we can be tolerant. 30:57 See we are driving on the fast lane. 31:01 Allah Ta'ala gave you a nice fast car. 31:06 And now I am driving in the fast lane. 31:10 Way above the speed limit. 31:13 Way above the speed limit. 31:15 Somebody is in front of me on the right lane. 31:18 Maybe the left lane is empty also. 31:21 But he is in front of me on the right lane. 31:23 He is driving at 120 kilometers per hour. 31:28 Which is the speed limit. 31:30 Right? 31:32 But I want to go 160 kilometers. 31:34 180 kilometers. 31:37 So now I come behind him. 31:41 Now he's not moving. 31:41 Now I'm flushing him. 31:43 Now I start garo now. 31:45 In the car. 31:46 With my... Look at this. 31:50 Can't he move? 31:51 What's his problem? 31:52 What can he drive with? 31:53 Why? 31:55 Because I'm feeling I'm entitled to this lane here. 31:57 This lane belongs to me. 31:59 I'm entitled. 32:00 What is he doing here in the front? 32:03 He's supposed to move. 32:04 Can't he see? 32:04 Set is coming from the back. 32:06 He must move. 32:08 What is he still doing here? 32:10 What he is doing is right. 32:13 What I want to do is wrong. 32:15 But I feel I am entitled to my wrong. 32:19 So I am getting agitated and irritated and frustrated. 32:22 For what? 32:23 Then sometime I am even taking off with him. 32:27 When I am passing him now. 32:29 Making one two signs and everything. 32:34 Why? 32:34 Because I feel that I am entitled to that. 32:37 He is supposed to move. 32:39 You must move it up. 32:42 So when we will have humility, then we will be able to have good akhlaq. 32:48 Good akhlaq will be soft natured. 32:51 We will have soft personality because we are humble and we have annihilated ourselves. 32:58 We have annihilated ourselves. 33:00 Then we can have good akhlaq and good speech. 33:02 There is another way to have good akhlaq and good speech. 33:08 That is, you know, matlabi. 33:11 A person is amat labi. 33:12 You know like the person goes for proposal. 33:15 You go by somebody's house. 33:17 Just see how much good akhlaq he'll display over there. 33:22 He'll eat like as if to say he's a bird. 33:27 No, no, no. 33:29 Alhamdulillah. 33:30 Jazakallah. 33:31 If they forgot to give him the sugar, he'll drink the tea too. 33:34 No sugar too. 33:37 Everything jee, jee, jee. 33:39 Alhamdulillah. 33:40 JazakAllah. 33:42 But he got a matlab. 33:43 That's why he's showing good akhlaq. 33:45 The kuffar, their good akhlaq is for those reasons. 33:49 Only matlab. 33:50 Man wants a job. 33:51 Now he'll go there in front of the boss. 33:53 Interview. 33:54 Everything. 33:54 Show his akhlaq. 33:56 That morning he'd even go for haircut. 33:58 Put everything right. 33:59 Polish his shoes. 34:00 Everything. 34:00 He was going for interview. 34:02 Right? 34:04 And immediately once he's 34:06 He's out. 34:07 He's working in that company and now he's busy with the fellow people who are working there. 34:12 He's what they call? 34:15 His colleagues. 34:16 He's backbiting about the same boss. 34:19 Talking ill about him. 34:22 Speaking bad things about him. 34:24 Where is the akhlaq? 34:28 So that's another thing makes a person have good akhlaq and talk nicely. 34:32 His matlab. 34:34 Let's see the traffic officer pull the fellow over. 34:36 He was speeding. 34:39 If he can help it, he'll use some heavy, heavy words out of the dictionary and everything to address the traffic officer. 34:47 But now he talked so politely. 34:50 Sir, I'm really sorry. 34:53 Please give me a chance. 34:56 Because you got the matlab now. 34:58 This fellow mustn't give me a fine. 35:01 But that 35:02 Matlabi akhlaq is a temporary thing and there is no sawab for it because innama al-amanu bin niyat. 35:10 Actions are judged according to the intention. 35:13 So Allah Ta'ala is watching the intention. 35:16 Some ladies, when they take their sons and go for proposal somewhere, now the girl's family they'll be telling, you know what, our daughter is not ready for marriage now, we still have to teach. 35:28 No, don't worry. 35:31 What you worry? 35:32 She is our child. 35:34 She is our child. 35:36 We teach her everything. 35:37 Plus it's better if she don't know. 35:38 She learn our style how to cook everything. 35:41 But when that girl goes there. 35:45 You don't know. 35:47 Simple thing like this to your mother never teach you. 35:52 Now what happened to all the sweet talk that was of the day. 35:57 So our good akhlaq mustn't be for matlab. 36:02 You want to loan from somebody, now in front of that for doing sweet talking and throwing the person up and praising the person and all of that. 36:10 No. 36:11 Our good akhlaq will be for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala. 36:15 It must come from the heart. 36:16 It must come from the heart. 36:18 When I say it must come from the heart, sometime, sometime shaitan puts this thought, the deception of the devil, 36:26 Say there's somebody you don't, you know, you don't really like that person. 36:30 For whatever reason, you don't really like that person. 36:35 So, when that person comes, you treat him badly. 36:46 And then you feel proud about it. 36:49 You say, look, me, I'm not a hypocrite. 36:55 I'm not a hypocrite. 36:57 Right? 36:58 I call a spade a spade. 37:01 I call a spade a spade. 37:02 I don't know why they don't say I call diamond a diamond. 37:05 They only use a spade. 37:06 I call a spade a spade. 37:09 You know what? 37:11 Why I must smile with him when I know I got a problem with him. 37:15 I don't like him. 37:16 So what I must smile with him for? 37:18 This is incorrect. 37:20 This is a duka from shaitan. 37:21 The person thinks he's very honorable if he does this. 37:26 You see one person came to Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam's home in north. 37:31 Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam cautioned Maisha and Nona. 37:34 See this person, not a very good person. 37:38 Not a nice person. 37:41 When the person came in, Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam gave him permission, he came inside. 37:43 Now Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam treated him with such good akhlaaq. 37:49 So he went away. 37:50 Masha radiyallahu ta'ala is asking Nabi Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that you said this man not such a good person but then you treated him so nicely. 37:59 He said must he why must I also be evil if he is a evil person? 38:05 Why must he is evil make me also now be evil and bad to him? 38:10 He is a bad person. 38:11 I am cautioning you. 38:13 Right? 38:13 Don't think now that because I entertained him in my house and everything so he is okay. 38:19 You know, sometimes people look like this. 38:21 Oh, this fellow attends that program. 38:23 So he must be good fellow. 38:26 You don't know who's trustworthy, who's honest. 38:29 You don't know. 38:32 So, but that doesn't mean we must show bad akhlaq. 38:37 Sometimes even if our nafs wants to show bad akhlaq, we must show good akhlaq. 38:42 And even if we think that in my good akhlaq there's no sincerity, never mind, still do it. 38:49 Fight the nafs and do it. 38:51 Right? 38:52 Fight the nafs and do it. 38:54 Slowly, slowly, we'll start doing it with ikhlas. 38:58 We'll start doing it with ikhlas. 38:59 But never think that, no, no, may I call a spade a spade. 39:02 There's no calling no spade, no spade. 39:04 The only spade you must worry about, the spade they're going to use to put the sand on our body when we're in the cupboard. 39:08 Where are we going to worry about insulting people and showing bad akhlaq to people? 39:16 One day they're going to take spade and put the sand in our cupboard. 39:19 So worry about that. 39:21 Be humble. 39:22 Be good to everybody. 39:25 Allah ta'ala bi wastawfiq. 39:28 SubhanAllahi wa bihamdihi. 39:31 Subhanak Allahumma wa bihamdik. 39:33 Nashhadu an la ilaha illa anta nastawfiruka wa natubu ilayh. 39:38 Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
Mind the tone of speech at home; avoid harsh instructions, demands, and subtle sarcasm toward family members.
Express heartfelt gratitude and make dua for a spouse's efforts rather than treating service as an entitlement.
Overcome the nafs by maintaining polite conduct even with people one dislikes, avoiding the devil's trap of being rude under the pretense of "honesty". 19 Ramadaan 1439
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Hazrat Moulana Dawood Seedat Saheb