Tohfa-e-Dulha Part 25

Main Topic

Three golden rules for achieving contentment, stability, and harmony in marriage by managing one's heart, gaze, and reliance on Allah Ta'ala.

Protecting the Gaze: Seeking variety and looking at non-mahram women (or female relatives like cousins and sisters-in-law) breeds artificial discontentment with one's spouse, similar to how constantly looking at new car models or fancy food options ruins satisfaction with standard, adequate blessings.
Spouse as a Divine Gift: Allah Ta'ala places people together with divine wisdom, knowing temperament and future trials that human foresight cannot anticipate.
Avoiding Destructive Comparisons: Every individual has unique strengths and weaknesses; comparing one's spouse to passing glances at other women creates unjustified discontentment and ingratitude (nashukri).
Primary Attachment Belongs to Allah: While spouses and family should be loved and cherished, ultimate emotional dependence must remain with Allah Ta'ala alone, as worldly relationships and lives are temporary.

Reference to lower the gaze and safeguard one's chastity, through which Allah Ta'ala grants halawati imani (the sweetness of faith).
Mention of Hazrat Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (Rahimahullah) regarding expressing gratitude to Allah Ta'ala for one's spouse and immediately turning away forbidden glances.
The example of Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and the Sahabah (Radiyallahu anhum) who experienced deep love for their wives and family yet endured parting from them with complete submission to Allah.

Practice hifazat (protection) of the eyes consistently, including around family relatives such as cousins or sisters-in-law, by respectfully lowering the gaze or excusing oneself.
Constantly remind oneself of the husband's/wife's sacrifices and strengths rather than focusing exclusively on minor shortcomings.
Never view marriage as disposable or treat a spouse as temporary; commit to working through difficulties with sabr (patience) and shukr (gratitude).