Tohfa-e-Dulha Part 30

Main Topic

Applying the concept of Ihsan (excellence and spiritual perfection) within domestic life, particularly in the relationship between husband and wife.

Ihsan means going the extra mile in good conduct, even when the other party falls short in their basic obligations.
Spiritual excellence (Ihsan) is not restricted to formal acts of worship such as Salah or Zikr; it must govern one's private character, speech, and dealings at home.
True piety is tested in private, where no public reputation or embarrassment exists to restrain bad temper or abuse.
Rasūlullāh (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) never raised his voice, flew off the handle, or vented anger at his blessed wives.
Authority granted to men as protectors and overseers in Islam must be exercised within the limits of Shari'ah, Sunnah, and exemplary character (Akhlaq), not through tyranny or harshness.
Marriage requires perseverance, patience, and realistic expectations; initial novelty wears off, requiring conscious effort and endurance rather than hasty demands for divorce.

Hadith of Jibrail (A.S.): Explanation of Ihsan — worshipping Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala as if you see Him, or with full conviction that He sees you.
Quranic reference to men being overseers and protectors (Qawwamun) over women.

Never cross the line into swearing, insulting, or physically harming your spouse.
Exercise restraint when tempers flare: step away, remain quiet, or give time for anger to cool before discussing issues calmly.
Give new marriages time (such as a three-year period) to settle through early adjustments instead of resorting to immediate separation over minor flaws or lost 'spark'.
Focus on making your spouse happy for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala rather than demanding rights or asserting control.