Main Topic
Guidelines on considering physical attraction when choosing a spouse, proper etiquette during the proposal process, and the principles of consultation (Mashwarah).
Key Lessons
- While Deen and character are of paramount importance, physical beauty and mutual attraction are also key factors in selecting a spouse.
- Seeing a prospective bride in a permissible, respectful environment prior to marriage is Sunnah and helps ensure long-term harmony.
- Prospective marriage proposals should be treated with utmost respect, dignity, and patience, taking one proposal at a time rather than treating candidates insensitively.
- Parents offer invaluable wisdom and objective foresight; their guidance and approval in selecting a partner should be prioritized.
- Conducting family matters through Mashwarah fosters unity, love, and divine blessings within the home.
- True Mashwarah requires expressing opinions humbly without ego or insisting on one's preference, trusting Allah's guidance through the appointed Ameer.
Quranic/Hadith References
- Hadith of Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) mentioning that a woman is married for her beauty, wealth, lineage, and Deen.
- Hadith narrated by Hazrat Abu Hurairah (Radiyallahu anhu) where Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) advised a Sahabi marrying an Ansari woman to see her beforehand.
Practical Advice
- Let parents and elders shortlist suitable candidates based on religious practice and family background before making personal contact.
- Visit the prospective spouse's family at their home to observe character and family dynamics in a natural setting.
- Be completely honest and genuine during marriage meetings without putting on a false pretense.
- In family consultation (Mashwarah), appoint an elder as the Ameer, share advice sincerely, and relieve yourself of personal insistence on the outcome.
Hazrat Moulana Dawood Seedat Saheb