Main Topic
This lecture covers spiritual and practical remedies for controlling anger, along with the importance of guarding one's tongue, particularly within the context of marriage and family relationships.
Key Lessons
- Swallowing anger while having the power to vent it earns immense reward in the Hereafter and the love of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala.
- A true believer accepts excuses for another's mistakes and censures their own heart if it harbors ill feelings.
- Silence, changing one's physical position (sitting or lying down), or leaving the scene of an argument are effective remedies to extinguish anger.
- Reflecting on Allah's ultimate power over us curbs the impulse to react harshly toward those weaker than ourselves.
- Back-chatting and sharp speech erode compassion and cause strife in marriages, whereas sweet speech fosters love and harmony.
Quranic/Hadith References
- Hadith: Whosoever swallows his anger when in a position to vent it, Allah will call him before creation on Qiyamah and let him choose any Hur of Jannah.
- Surah Ali 'Imran (Quran): Describes the pious as those who spend in ease and adversity, swallow their anger, and forgive people.
- Hadith: The sip most beloved to Allah is the sip taken when a person swallows anger.
- Hadith (Imam Ahmad): "When any of you becomes angry, he should remain silent."
- Hadith: "Anger is a burning coal that ignites the heart... Whoever senses this should resort to the earth (sit or lie down)."
Practical Advice
- If angry during an argument, remain completely silent or step away into a different environment (e.g., going outside or going to the masjid) to calm down.
- If standing while angry, sit down; if sitting, lie down to draw closer to the humble nature of the earth.
- Keep a written reminder visible (such as on a phone lock screen): "Allah has more power over you than you have over others."
- Make excuses for family members or colleagues when they err rather than jumping to conclusions.
- Spouses should cultivate soft, gentle speech and avoid back-chatting or emotional outbursts during sensitive discussions.
Hazrat Moulana Dawood Seedat Saheb