Main Topic
An explanation of marital harmony, mutual consultation (mashwara), and standing by one's spouse during difficult times, based on excerpts from the book Tuhfah-e-Dulhan and the Seerah of Nabi (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and the Mothers of the Believers.
Key Lessons
- Importance of Consultation: Major decisions, including family visits and weaning a child, should be made through mutual consultation between husband and wife.
- Consulting Mothers Regarding Daughters: Hadith instructs fathers to consult their wives concerning the marriage of their daughters, as mothers often understand their daughters' readiness better.
- Role of Sayyidatina Khadija (R.A.): She served as a pillar of emotional support and a sincere advisor (wazir sidq) to Nabi (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam), comforting him during times of distress.
- Wisdom of Sayyidatina Umm Salama (R.A.): At Hudaybiyah, her intelligent counsel helped solve a tense situation among the Companions.
- Standing by the Husband in Hardship: A wife should remain loyal and patient during financial trials, rather than abandoning her husband or demoralizing him with complaints when he is striving honestly.
Quranic/Hadith References
- Surah Al-Baqarah (2:233): Mutual consent and consultation regarding weaning a child.
- Surah Ash-Shura (42:38): Conducting affairs through mutual consultation (wa amruhum shura baynahum).
- Surah At-Tawbah / General Quranic Verse: "Say, 'Nothing will ever befall us except what Allah has destined for us...'"
- Hadith: "Amirun nisa'a fi banatihina" (Consult women regarding [the marriage of] their daughters).
- Seerah Reference: The 3-year boycott in Shib Abi Talib and the unwavering sacrifice of Sayyidatina Khadija (Radiyallahu anha).
Practical Advice
- Before accepting social or family invitations, inform parents that you will consult your spouse first, avoiding sudden friction.
- When a spouse shares an issue regarding in-laws or work, offer sincere, unselfish counsel that pleases Allah rather than stoking division.
- Practise sabr (patience) and contentment when financial circumstances are tight, teaching children to be grateful for halal income.
Hazrat Moulana Dawood Seedat Saheb