Tohfa-e-Dulhan Part 88

Main Topic

This lecture outlines the essential traits and responsibilities of a righteous wife in Islam, highlighting devotion to the husband for the sake of Allah Ta'ala and presenting the classic ten golden advices given by a mother to her daughter on her wedding night.

Key Lessons

• Pure Intentions in Marriage: A righteous wife loves her husband solely to attain the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala, rather than for worldly gain, wealth, or status.
• Modesty and Reserved Beauty: A pious woman reserves her beauty for her husband and avoids going out unnecessarily into public spaces.
• Seeking Allah's Pleasure: Winning the pleasure of Allah through devotion to one's spouse brings blessings that outweigh all material wealth, as illustrated by the story of Sultan Harun al-Rashid's slave girl.
• Ten Golden Advices for Wives:
  1. Practice contentment with what the husband provides.
  2. Show humility and obedience to his instructions.
  3. Maintain a pleasing appearance (e.g., using kohl/surmah).
  4. Maintain personal hygiene and a pleasant fragrance.
  5. Ensure meals are served punctually.
  6. Respect his sleep schedule and ensure rest times are peaceful.
  7. Safeguard his wealth through sound financial management.
  8. Protect his honor and raise children with good upbringing.
  9. Obey his directives and never disclose his secrets.
  10. Express empathy, sharing his grief and prioritizing his happiness over personal mood.

Quranic/Hadith References

• Hadith on Husband's Satisfaction: Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) mentioned that a woman who passes away while her husband is pleased with her will enter Jannah.
• Quranic Reference to Women of Paradise: Characteristics of the maidens of Jannah who lower their gazes and are sheltered in tents serve as a model of modesty for believing women.

Practical Advice

• Avoid unnecessary outings to malls or sales that lead to free mixing and distraction.
• Maintain regular wudu and bathing to ensure clean hygiene and pleasant appearance at home.
• Never respond to a husband's anger with anger; instead, offer excuses and apologize patiently.